Success is Not My Friend

The poem, Success is Not My Friend, was inspired by my years of struggle to reach the unspoken dreams of my heart. Getting up early, traveling far, skipping meals when necessary, and working long into the evening to make my dreams a reality. Yet even though I worked hard, giving the effort my all, it seemed that the moment my goal was in reach something would go wrong. Without warning I would fall flat on my face and sit helplessly by and watch my dearest hopes go up in smoke.

As I looked back at the long road strewn with failure after failure, my heart failed within me. As I thought of all my effort, all the sacrifices that I had made in my effort to make my dreams a reality, a flood of tears came to my eyes. All I could think was how hard I worked to make something of myself, yet like a two face friend, success had beckoned me then turned and run away. My years of struggling to go to school, my long hours of homework and study, had been for naught. I was no better off, nor was I any closer to having the life and love of my dreams.

Instead of reaching the point where I could enjoy the fruit of my labors by having a good paying job and family of my own, I had been left on the sidelines watching my chance for life and love go by. It was a rather bleak feeling to know that so much of my life had been wasted reaching for that which I would never have. And I felt like truly success was not my friend, for it had evaded me like I was the plague.

Yet as I began to pen the lines that spoke but little of the cutting pain that wrenched my heart, a strange hope began to fill me as my mind was brought above my current situation, and refocused on the promise of a better day. It was as if the gates of heaven were thrown open and a my heart was privileged for a few seconds to sense the bright beams of promise of that eternal tomorrow. And the poem that had started with such sorrow could not help but change its tone to one of hope and promise. As instead of focusing on the trials of here and now, I rejoiced at the success that was to be mine in that land where death and sorrow are not known.

I hope that you like this poem. And that if your heart should be feeling blue because one of life’s unexpected turns has left you sitting dazed on the sidelines, that you too will feel the joy I did as my mind was transported from the current bleakness of this world, and by faith given a momentary picture of the wonders of the nearing day of eternal tomorrows.

Success is Not My Friend

By Katherine Breanne Parilli

 

Success is not my friend.

Accomplishment has been my enemy.

Chance has turned a blind eye,

And hope a deaf ear to my pleas.

 

Alone in my quarters I sit,

Watching time march on.

With unfeeling merriment,

It drags me along.

Wishing and dreaming,

I long for brighter days,

Seeking that which is my hearts greatest desire.

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Like a field of blooming tomorrows I had worked with one thought in mind, that if I suffered and gave up a few joys today, I would be privileged to reap a hundred fold on that wondrous day when my dearest dreams at last became a reality.

Foiled and barred from life’s sweetest treasures,
I sit with tears of desire,

Longing for the hour that shall never be mine.

 

In dreams so poignant,

Sweet footsteps I hear.

Rushing with delight to my empty side.

 

Soft words of regret,

Reproaches for time wasted

Are whispered in my hungry ear.

 

But alas,

As my heart pounds with joy,

I awake from my moment of triumph to emptiness bleak hole.

 

Yet as the ache burns,

The lump in my throat squeezes out breath,

And loneliness dashed me towards the bottomless pit,

A stubborn leaf of hope springs up in my crying heart.

 

As the voice of one

Greater than I,

Condescends to bend down to my weak side,

And points my disappointed eyes,

Welled up with tears of heart break

Upward towards the land of endless promise.

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Lost in my sorrows my broken heart was nearly ready to surrender to the bitter feelings of defeat, when at my weakest moment my eyes were suddenly lifted upward, and my thoughts were carried to that wonderful day when all my current  pain and disappointment would be a distant memory.

For a moment my child

You may feel pain.

For this hour your heart knows discouragement and neglect,

But tomorrow my beloved daughter,

The sun will rise,

Never to set,

Never to fade.

 

In the land where time stands still,

Where eternity is yours to explore,

This hour of trial,

This second of shattered dreams,

Will be as if it never was.

 

Like the eagle you will take flight.

Like a dear you will romp.

The vast borders of the universe will be yours to explore.

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My feelings of hope and joy were revived as by faith my mind was carried to that glorious day when I would be free to traverse the universe and taste of its many wonders like I would the gentle cove of a softly laughing beach line.

Hold on a little longer.

For I will come for you.

Hold fast to till the end,

And the friendship of angels will be yours to enjoy.

And I,

The Lord of Lords,

The King of Kings,

Will sup with you.

And I will wipe away your tears of pain,

And I will be your friend,

Tried and true.

 

©2016

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